Thoughts

It's been a while since I've posted in here. I guess I've had a lot going on. You see I'm juggling too much at one time. I guess you can say I put my feelings on the backburner in order to make others happy. It's a gift and a curse that is slowly catching up to me. Hopefully it doesn't break this outer shell that I have created to protect my sanity lol. I find myself repeating old habits... pushing people away when I feel I've become attached or they have gotten too close.... I'm trying to break it but the more I think about it, the more I'm shutting them out... one person to be specific. I don't know.... Maybe I'll learn when I push that one person away to the point where they don't want to come back.

I only have a couple of more days until I'm home... YAY! LOL School is starting to become too much but I'm pushing myself.... My goals must be accomplished; there are no other options. I'm going to make sure that everyone knows me and understands my heart. I plan to leave a mark.

Stuck

Hmmmmm.... He sits and wonders, wonders and sits...
Bridged in a gap of troubled thoughts that don't quite fit
Stuck, wedged, no escape from her dream... his nightmare
Fighting, struggling... trying to make himself aware
Too dope, too cool, too much, too soon
Yet too smart, too beautiful, too rare of a jewel
He's thinking , tapping, writing pen in hand
sketching, drawing his thoughts, words travel down his hand
Over his knuckles and through his fingers stopping at the tip
Transferring to the ink becoming blotched and thick
Darkened and soiled at the exit they stop
No ink, no words, blank paper no pop
The fireworks, the passion had traveled back towards the top
His arm, attached to his mind and heart won't let out
I guess he's stuck....